i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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