Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
