Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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