You're completely useless in the revolution.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
it's like iHOP with fire
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
