i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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