I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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