Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
