:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
