even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
