oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
