It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just tell him i said nine months
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
