she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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