We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize