fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
