He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
