And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
