C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
