508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
