I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize