so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
