whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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