dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
