I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
