I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
