went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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