Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
