garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
