After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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