she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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