Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize