Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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