it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
