last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
