I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
