Dual....:-)
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i drank out of a bidet.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
