If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
