I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
