It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
