You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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