I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
