i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
