Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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