you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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