I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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