; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
