Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I think my moral compass just broke
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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