ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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