No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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