After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize