woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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