Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
