Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
