This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
This is classic penis vs brain.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
