I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
