I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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