wakey wakey hands off snakey
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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