What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
