She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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