I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
