belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
