he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
