; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
