Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Plan B is the new Plan A
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
