I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
