i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
