dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
PS: I just woke up from my shower
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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