he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
third nipple confirmed
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
