Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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