I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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