worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
