I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize