He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
