whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
